Who am I? Somehow this was the question on nearly every young Jedi’s mind. Seong Mi knew that and was trained to know the right answer. And yet, it remained. Why? Why was the path which gave all the answers still the one that left all the same questions without answers at all. She had faith in the force. That much was not under question.
The question was herself. She was good. She was kind. She was committed to her belief that she had chosen the right side in the battle for good and evil. But when all the chips fell and she laid in bed at night, was she only a Jedi? Why was it so bad to have desires? Why was it bad to enjoy pleasing her teachers? Just that day she had been cautioned against desires of the flesh simply because she had sought approval from Master Goan. Was her desire of the flesh? Why?
She understood the idea. She sought his approval, which suggested that she was invested in his appraisal of her. But was that enough to cause remarks? Up until his criticism, she had not felt distracted or separated from the force at all. Only after had she felt overwhelmingly ashamed. Only then had she thought about the flesh at all. Then she felt the pull.
This was why, at an unnatural time of night, she was sitting in a questionable bar on the lower levels of Coruscant. Perhaps not the best haven after being chastised, definitely not one that would redeem or enforce her better values…but nonetheless. It was a struggle that was still ongoing for sure. She had been staring at her drink for the better half of an hour. It sat, still untouched. The fact that she was here at all was rebellion enough.